Happy Birthday!

If you see a red glow in the sky, please do not be alarmed. It's just all those candles on my sister's birthday cake. Val's been enjoying the "younger sister" thing for far too long, but she turned 30 today. Yes, my sister Valerie Gross of Westfield Indiana is 30 years old. Did I mention that I'm often mistaken for the younger sister? Because I don't know if I mentioned that or not and I hate to repeat myself... (Never mind that it's because I refuse to be seen in direct light by anyone under 70...)

So, if you see Val anytime soon, please remember to ask her if she's feeling alright and tell her she's looking a wee bit tired...and OLD! Also, tell her that her only-slightly-older sister loves her very much--she reminds me of our mother.

I smile because we're sisters. I laugh because there's nothing she can do about it. (And boy, do I have some great material on her!)

Fun at Walmart

Carrie posted this on her blog a couple months ago and I just got around to reading it recently. (I think I was still dealing with Kent's reflux problem that month...) It cracked me up and I thought it was worthy of a reprint. Warning: do not read this while attempting to eat, or if you have a weak heart or a full bladder! In fact, I'm not sure my Dad should read this at all--he's liable to be at Walmart in Chatham tomorrow morning when they open with this list in hand.

Things to do at Wal-Mart

while your family is taking forever to finish shopping

1. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at 10 minute intervals.
2. Make a trail of orange juice on the floor to the restrooms.
3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,"I think we have a code 3 in housewares" and see what happens.
4. Turn all the radios to a polka station, then turn them all off and turn the volumes to 10.
5. Challenge other customers to a duel with tubes of gift wrap.
6. Put M&M's on layaway.
7. Move "CAUTION WET FLOOR" signs to carpet areas.
8. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
9. When someone asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask "Why won't you people leave me alone?"
10. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
11. Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joe and the X-Men.
12. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
13. While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
14. Switch signs on the men's and women's bathrooms.
15. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission Impossible".
16. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign out front.
17. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
18. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say "PICK ME! PICK ME!".
19. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again".
20. Go to the cafe, get a soft drink, tell them you don't get out much and would they put one of those little umbrellas in it.
21. Go into the fitting room and yell real loud...."Hey we're out of toilet paper in here!"

A Few Great Things about Turning 31

1. I'm still younger than my husband. (Did I mention that he's going really gray and pushing 40?)

2. I'm not much older than my sister, who turns 30 on Saturday. Whew, that's a big one, Val!

3. Coffee--it's not just for breakfast anymore.

4. Have you seen my beautiful kids?

5. My beautiful kids usually go to bed pretty early, so I can too.

6. Blonde hair hides the white pieces quite nicely. And by now, all the people who were sure I got this color from a bottle of peroxide have hopefully realized that if they were right, I'd be bald today.

7. I am still occasionally mistaken for a life-sized Barbie when visiting the Disney store. (I think that's the 3 feet of hair--Rapunzel, Rapunzel...)

8. A lot of other new mothers are feeling a little "horizontally challenged" right now too.

9. The sun-worshippers who used to tease me about being so pale would all make great boots and handbags by now.

10. Birthday cake--with coffee, of course!

Happy Birthday to Me! (I can say that--it's MY blog!)

The Davis Doodlebugs

Robert Carter is 35!

Belated Happy Birthday to our dear old friend Robert. He's 35, which makes me immensely happy because that's older than me. Hope you had a great day! Your birthday dinner has made me curious about the Peruvian cuisine--and Carrie's juice order. Take heart--you're still younger than Gene!

Before I Forget...

May I introduce my dear Mother-In-Law, Brenda Davis. This was taken early on Christmas morning several years ago, so she's going for a natural look here. Unfortunately, this picture does not show the Christmas tree, with the lottery tickets attached. That would definitely have completed the ensemble. Happy Friday, Mom Davis! (And please keep in mind that you have to love me if you want to go to heaven...)

Pampered Chef

Another disastrous evening brought to you by Angie Davis! I hosted a Pampered Chef party tonight for a former coworker from Yankee who's getting started in the business. Of the people invited, only 2 showed up. Yup. 2 people. A few years ago, I had a houseful. Not tonight, though. I think I've become a party jinx.

It was an absolutely hilarious party, but that's another story. Can't share it here, but it's probably best that more people were not present. Ask me in person sometime.

Anyway, special thanks to Jody and Julie. I owe them each a party and I have now officially retired from throwing parties for items that I don't really need.

I got a lot of the fall cleaning done, so the evening wasn't a total loss. Maybe I should have another one before Christmas... Nope, think I'll just squeeze in a nap.

Life with Connor

It's shaping up to be another crazy week at the Davis ranch and I'm giving serious consideration to running away. No, just kidding. I'm just tired and my To-Do list keeps getting new additions.

The Pampered Chef party is Thursday night and at the rate I'm going, I'll never have this lovely old money pit company perfect. I'm combining party cleaning with fall cleaning and it makes for a daunting task. Did I mention that I work tomorrow night and Connor had today off school?

Yes, there was a lot of extra "help" today. I had the stove in the middle of the kitchen floor and was scrubbing the corner it normally sits in and Connor was full of questions: "What are you doing? Why is there a Cheerio back there? Can I help? Can we get another mouse under there?" Kent had nothing to say, but he tried skydiving off my bed once or twice. I think his energy level is going to kill me.

Connor has nearly finished his first month of school. He's doing well, but has been described as a chatterbox by his teacher. I think that's the polite way of saying that he talks incessantly. We could have told her that! Anyway, we've been having prayer with him every night and asking God to help him remember that sometimes it's good to be quiet.

He was getting a little mixed up with the Scripture memorization last week, so we got creative. I took him over to TPA park, rolled down the car window and he said Acts 16:31 to all the animals at the petting zoo until he got it right. This was very effective in mastering the verse, but I should have known better. Connor's 5--he doesn't just say anything. He was shouting at the top of his lungs: "Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and thou shalt be saved!" The llama and the goats didn't mind, but the emu went into the barn to hide from us and I think some of the people nearby were tempted to join him. I suspect we looked like the crazy people who attend one of those other churches! All we lacked was a poisonous snake and a sign that said, "The End is Near."

We're supposed to sing at church on the first Sunday night in October and we've been trying for a long time to get Connor to sing with us. Gene finally gave up on begging and resorted to bribery and Connor has agreed to sing "Footprints on the Water." It's a cute children's song, and with those two, it may get even more entertaining. Tonight we were singing it before bed and Gene decided to add actions. They got really silly and Gene explained that we probably would NOT do all that on the church platform, but we'll see if Connor remembers that in two weeks..

Well, all my men are sleeping now and there's no laundry in the machines, so I should probably take advantage of it and turn in too. Maybe the housekeeping fairy will make a pass through the downstairs while I'm asleep...

Please Note: The Ones Responsible for this study were Male and Canadian

NEW YORK (New York Post) — A controversial study conducted by males and certain to infuriate females says men are smarter than women.
The study, conducted by two Canadian psychologists, concludes that men's IQs are almost 4 points higher than women's.
One of the researchers, John Philippe Rushton — who created a furor by suggesting intelligence is influenced by race — says the finding could explain why there are so few top women executives.
He claims in the journal Intelligence that the "glass ceiling" is probably due to inferior intelligence — not discrimination or lack of opportunity.
Rushton and colleague Douglas Jackson at the University of Western Ontario analyzed SAT scores of 100,000 male and female students and concluded that the average IQ of the male teens was 3.63 points higher.
For a century, it has been generally believed that men and women have equal IQs.
Compiled by FOXNews.com's Taylor Timmins.

Melissa - Before and After

Okay, in my pictures, it's AFTER and then BEFORE, because I can't get the pictures to come out in the right order! This is my little sister Melissa. She just donated 11 inches of hair to Locks of Love and looks really grown-up with that new hairstyle! Pretty cute, Munchkin!

Some of Our Kids from Children's Services

These are a few pictures of the munchkins from our services at the Rock Lake Bible Methodist Campmeeting this summer. Since I still don't have a digital, I pirated them from the Conference website. Special thanks to Joel Byer! Anyway, these kids were absolutely adorable.
If your kids have been in a children's church, VBS or camp with us, email me a picture and I'll put them on here!

My Favorite Mother-In-Law

While I was working today, Gene called his mom to chat. She's apparently having fits trying to get me a birthday gift. If Gene is to be believed, she thinks I'm hard to buy for and I never like what she gets me.

Hopefully she was joking, because she actually gets me some very nice gifts. She's kept me stocked on fuzzy pj's for winter--a favorite of mine. She also got me the Cocomotion, which is a great thing if you like hot chocolate that doesn't have clumps of powder. Picture frames, bath gels, gift cards, pretty much anything I mention liking--she really gets into gift-giving.

The one thing I recall from last year that didn't fit quite right was a fuzzy pink outfit, but it is still greatly treasured, because it's proof that someone actually believes (or is willing to pretend) that the bottom half of me is smaller than the top!

In retrospect, I'm feeling a little bit guilty. I must confess to buying the woman the singing Christmas tree a few years ago. And the really ugly lawn ornament I put out on Christmas morning. She also has the singing bass fish, but I can't remember if I was responsible for that. I don't think so... I've also spent a lot of time contemplating the purchase of one of those hideously tacky "leg lamps", because I know how she feels about them.

Anyway, the moral of this story is probably that I'm an evil daughter-in-law and she's a saint for putting up with me. She doesn't have internet access, so if anyone reading this sees her, please tell her I said she was my favorite mother-in-law, and that it has very little to do with her being my only mother-in-law. Oh yes, and tell her that as soon as I get the Pampered Chef party over with this week, I'm going to post a picture or two of her right here on my blog--with the scanner she bought me!

Happy Thursday!

A Favorite Scripture

Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer.

Psalm 19:14

Another Bright Idea

If you think camouflage constitutes a fashion crime and you can't bear to see it worn in public, it makes great pj's. (Unless, of course, you post photos of it on your blog and then everyone sees it anyway...)
Pj's are a great way to indulge little boys' love of Disney characters too. Sick of trying to coordinate an outfit around Buzz Lightyear's neon green trim? Just let him wear that shirt to bed with camouflage pants (of course) and a pair of Halloween socks. He'll be happy and in the event of an untimely house fire, you'll have no trouble finding him in thick smoke.

And as for the tongue--well, to be honest, I have absolutely no idea what's up with that!

Got the Dough?

It's that time of year: two kids needing winter clothes, one of them in Christian school, medical bills, car repairs, a few dozen birthdays this fall, Christmas creeping up fast and a Pampered Chef party I really should have said "no" to. It's been a very expensive year and I've been thinking up ways to increase our cash flow without getting a job that's not family-friendly.

There's the ever popular yard sale, which also empties the house of clutter, but I'm having trouble finding a Saturday that's free before there's snow! (And my husband hides every time I talk about it...)

The Frankfort Times has been running an ad for a company in Kokomo that pays you to donate blood plasma. That sounds really gross, but now I'm curious. Should I try it?

In a Woman's World...

It's been a busy week and I'm too tired to post anything inspirational. Thankfully, the Web is full of funny pictures that entertain me and take up space on my blog. :)

In Women's World News around here, the boys and I are sitting around today with fevers and headaches. Kent also suffers from another problem, but I don't think I really want to post it on here. Who knows what we've got, but we feel lousy. Gene's at work feeling about the same as us, so I'm guessing he'll try to be home a bit early today.

PTF Elections were last night at Frankfort Covenant Academy. You're reading the handiwork of the new PTF secretary. I'm okay with that, but when my name was up for some of the bigger positions, I was ready to "confess" to having Hepatitis A or remind them that my piecrust constitutes a weapon of mass destruction to get out of it. I'm not sure how Gene escaped a "prestigious position," but I may have to nominate him myself next year. Several of my nominations were the work of a dear girl named Rachel. (Did I mention that Rachel Stafford just had a BIG birthday?!) I'm trying to decide how to show my gratitude. Should I decorate her front lawn with atrocious lawn ornaments or just make her a pie--with homemade piecrust?

My Pampered Chef party is set for the 21st and I need to get those invitations out this week. A former coworker from Yankee Candle is just getting started in the business so I'd like to have a good party for her. Anyone dying to see what's new with cooking products, check out www.pamperedchef.com.

Just a reminder to friends and family: Christmas is coming up fast and you don't want to wait all the shopping until the 23rd. (Well, okay, Dad really does like to do that, but everyone else should really get shopping!) I'm usually well under way by September and this year's delay is killing me.

That's all for today. I'm going to start the laundry and then consider Kent's morning nap as an opportunity for my own!

Another Fine Use for a Cat

Another fine use for a feline. This one has endless potential...

Lazarus, Come Forth!

Surely he stinketh, but that silly worm's not dead. He's just really lazy and I guess I don't know the right place to look for a pulse on an earthworm. I can't tell which end is which! Anyway, long live Crane the worm and the funeral's cancelled. Good thing too--the elderly preacher was a no-show.

Crane Croaked

For those of you who aren't bored enough to read the comments on the earthworm blog from yesterday, Crane the Worm passed away. No, I still don't know why his name was Crane.

Connor made me promise to take the critter to school this afternoon so he could show his friends and I just happened to check on our little guest before I loaded him into the car. Apparently he expired. Dead as a doornail.

I'm not sure what the appropriate etiquette is for a worm who was only here for a day--maybe less, depending on when he kicked the bucket. Thankfully, the Rev. Joel Byer has risen to the occasion and volunteered to hold the service. The funeral is tomorrow at 11:00 in the side yard, with visitation a half hour before. There will be no special singers--we're just going to play some Veggietales music. Crane always did like his vegetables. You are welcome to send flowers: my garden is especially fond of shade-loving perennials. And a hydrangea would be nice...

Only one thing left to decide: toss him, flush him, or bury him in the flower bed from whence he came?

Takeout, Anyone?

Okay, this one's even better. Happy Tuesday!

Serious Horsepower

Found this and couldn't resist sharing it!

A New Addition to the Family

Our numbers have increased around here. I know what you're thinking, but I'm not pregnant! Connor found an earthworm at Grandma Davis' yesterday and decided to keep it. God bless my mother-in-law! (I'll find a way to "repay" her for this...)

His name is Crane and he's quite tiny. He lives in a baby food container full of dirt that has holes poked in the top. That is not really his picture to the left: that one was a dissection photo I found on a biology site while I was trying to figure out what you feed a worm.

Several websites later, I still don't know what he eats. I only know that he has a very tiny lifespan so we'll be having the "Do Animals go to Heaven?" discussion again really soon.

Nice Kitty...

This photo was recently featured on a blog belonging to an elderly acquaintance of mine and it reminded me of my immense dislike for all things feline. Confidentially, between you and me and the world wide web, I really hate cats.

I was raised on a farm where cats tend to be plentiful and I think this has contributed to my dislike. The other problem is that cats seem to really like me. They gravitate toward me and I always end up with fur on my clothes. I haven't decided if they're just evil and forcing me to be polite in front of their owners entertains them, or if they're trying to convert me. Either way, I often find myself saying "oh, nice kitty" until the owner leaves the room and then trying to dump Fluffy off my lap while she hangs on for dear life!

My parents and sister were the cat lovers at our house. I tended to take after Grandma Krohn; mainly worrying about fleas, worms and scratch marks on the end of the couch. My sister Valerie had the same sense of humor as a cat. She loved to go give Grandma a great big smooch and then tell her she had just kissed the cat! This was guaranteed to make Grandma turn green and make quiet gagging sounds while wiping her lips with a tissue.

I should be careful since my friend Carrie is very fond of her little furball. (Although I think I've taken care of any chance she'll ask me to pet-sit when they're vacationing...) I must confess, though--don't like them, never did!

I should wrap this up. If I have offended any cat lovers out there, I sincerely apologize. I actually love cats, really. (Preferably fried with a little salt and butter...)

A New Look

Don't know if anyone noticed, but we're trying a new look here. Blue happens to be my favorite color. Besides, I have a very short attention span and Titus Byer was using the tan template. Perhaps the new blue will make up for the fact that I really haven't figured out how to customize my blog's appearance yet.

I'd gush endlessly about the refreshing change, but my hair keeps getting caught in the oscillating fan beside me and I have to work in the morning. Just let me know if you like it.

Goodnight!